Brant's Blog of Awesomeness

And the New Website Is Up

We've finally got it working. The new website is here: check it out at MorningsWithBrant.com. That is, if you're not afraid of completely and total awesomeness. 

Make sure you update your favorites or bookmarks or whatever you got! This old site will self-destruct in ten, nine...seriously, update your stuff...eight...seven...

Okay, This is Still the Old Website

We have a new website, honest.

And it's cool and stuff, and it even has Hidden Monkeys (TM).

But it's...not...quite...working yet.  Very soon!  Hours away!

Probably!

Here's the "Doggy Seat-Belt Song"

Download Dog Seat Belt Song

We opened the "Pablo and Brant Song Lab", got a request for a song about doggie seat-belts, and produced this song -- in less than 15 minutes, total!

Pablo does the lyrics, I do the melody and guitar.  Does it sound like something whipped up, start-to-finish, in under 15 minutes?  

A:  Yes...yes it does. But still.

It Could Come to This

Mentioned this morning that some state legislatures are looking at mandating "doggie seat belts" to cut down on traffic accidents.

This is a great idea, as I, like you, am sick and tired of colliding with cars that have been taken over by dogs.

This picture is kinda cute, I reckon, but to me, it looks like this dog has lost his right to stick his head out the window, and with it, his will to live.

Check Out Pablo's Awesome Photoshopping of Pablo's Face

We're putting together an awesome new website, and Pablo didn't like his picture for it, onaccounta it "added these crevices to my face that I simply don't have" or something like that.

So, being Awesome Tech Guy, he made them disappear.  And then he even animated the file.  This means a) he's incredibly skilled, and b) his job description has too few bullet-points.

Anyone over 40 probably wishes they could do this.

Nikki's List of "5 Myths About middle School"

1. Your gym teacher is the most feared person on the planet.  It may seem that way, but 20 years from now you’ll telling stories about him or her and having a good laugh. 

 

2. Writing “stay sweet” or “don’t ever change” in someone’s yearbook is an original idea. This is pretty much everybody’s default when they don’t know what to write.

 

3. Life without recess is a miserable, dark existence. Not gonna lie, you’ll miss it, but you’ll get used to it and you do get to stretch in between classes, so at least there’s that.

 

4. Middle school is a breeding ground for the meanest teachers. Not so, and hey, the cool thing is, if you don’t like one teacher, you only have to spend an hour with them and then you get to move onto another!

 

5. You are the only person who every got lost trying to find one of your classes. Nope, we’ve ALL done it.  Any awkwardness you go through in your first couple weeks…EVERYONE has gone through.

5 Myths About High School...Off the Top of My Head, Anyway

With Back-to-School stuff going on, Nikki and I were talking about stuff we wished we knew when we started middle school and high school.  I asked her to come up with the "myths of middle school", and my assignment was high school.

Anyway, here for 5 Myths About High School -- from my perspective, anyway.  I could be wrong.  Add your own, if you want...

----------------

5 Myths About High School

1.  Bad grades in high school will ruin my life.

 

No, they won't. 

 

You'll live, and maybe even a fully-functional life.  Take it from me, a guy with ze perfect French accent, who failed French class.  God did not abandon me. 

 

If you don't get into the college of your dreams, your life will not be ruined.  If you don't get into college, your life will not be ruined.  Your life, in fact, cannot be ruined by grades.  It's no excuse for not being disciplined, but it's true. 

 

But what if I don't get into an elite college, and I don't get an amazing job making millions, and then I don't get to retire rich, and then I don't get to be old and wealthy, and then I can't die without a lot of money, and...

 

Well, you got me there.   

 

 

2.  These people are my friends for LIFE!

 

No, they're not.   Except for one or two.  Maybe. 

 

Shoot, they may not even be your best friends next year.  Yes, they are wonderful, and yes, it's great to have BFF's.  But the second "F" -- the "forever" part...?  It's not a lock.  Most people stay in touch with one or two people from high school, tops.  All the people around you are important, but they will not be constants in your life.  Chances are, you haven't met your true BFF's yet.  And that's not a horrible thing.

 

Knowing this can be a wonderful thing, when you feel like you're not at the top of whatever social heap everyone else is worried about.  It simply doesn't last.

 

3.  Everyone's looking at me.

 

No, they're not.  Everyone's too busy thinking this about themselves to actually look at you.  Seriously.  They've studied this.

 

It's called the "imaginary audience".  High school students, in particular, tend to way over-estimate the attention they're getting.  Fact is, even the "together" people are super self-conscious, and that means someone who *isn't* -- someone who's freed up to care about others -- can have a real impact.

 

4.  Whatever social group I'm in now -- that's just who I am.

 

Nope.  It just doesn't work out that way.  This is why high school reunions and old yearbooks are so fascinating...and hilarious.

 

People can change.  And they do.  A lot.  Who you identify yourself as, now, does not lock you into a certain identity forever.  And it's a good thing, or a lot of people my age would still be wearing flannel-on-flannel and refusing to shower while listening strictly to Nirvana and Pearl Jam.

 

Everyone.  Will.  Change.  

 

5.   My teachers/parents just don't understand.

 

Don't flatter yourself.  Seriously.  For all the marketing of "teenager"-hood, the concept of "teenager" has been around less than a hundred years.  You're not in a mysterious, magical soap opera that adults just can't possibly understand.  It's not a sudden period of life that's simply distinct from all others.   

 

This is why, in fact, your parents are bothersome: It's not that they don't understand the importance of your life, your decisions...it's that they DO.  They can still relate to the issues, the temptations, the desire to run away from problems, etc.  So they won't just leave you alone. 

 

It's high-stakes, and they know it.  When you were three years old, your foolishness might mean a thrown toy.  Now, like an adult, your foolishness can mean years of sad regret.  Acting on your own, as a free agent, now or when you're an adult -- is a recipe for serious hurt.  The wise listen to counsel.

 

Mom, or Dad, or caring whoever -- they know this.  That's why they don't just shut up and "live their own lives".  And why you shouldn't, either.

"I Fear I'm Ordinary, Like Everyone Else"

Andrew from Project 86 sounds off on wanting to be "significant".

Great stuff.

Coolness, Illustrated.

If you've listened to the show for long, you may find that this picture explains some things.

I was three.  Or two.  Anyway, they put glasses on me when I was one year old.  I was in diapers and glasses at the same time.

They called me, "Little Professor".  This is how nerd-dom begins.

So, People are All Like, "Do You Have Any Pictures of Ducks with Shoes?" and I'm All Like, "Yeah."

Yep.

Jesus on Life

"You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true"  

-- Jesus ("The Message" paraphrase)

When Jesus concluded his address, the crowd burst into applause. They had never heard teaching like this. It was apparent that he was living everything he was saying—quite a contrast to their religion teachers! This was the best teaching they had ever heard.
-- Matthew 7 ("The Message" paraphrase)

This morning, we talked a lot about the things Jesus said in what's called, "The Sermon on the Mount". 

I read it last night -- The Message version -- and came away thinking, "Man, God HATES it when I dress up my language in religious garb.  He can't stand it."  

He hates play-acting.  He hates it when we reduce mystery to a slogan.  He hates it when we believe, deep down, that we're superior to the murderer or the adulterer.  He hates religious power trips.  

He loves simplicity...and simple honesty.

Anyway, here's the version I was reading last night.  I mentioned that we'd like to it, so here you go.

Incredibly Tiny Horses? Yep. We've Got Them. You're Welcome.

Yeah.  When you want incredibly tiny horses -- we produce.

We're all about results, here.

HERE'S THE LINK TO INCREDIBLY TINY HORSE.

"So, is Drinking OK?"

So what do you think of this?

I'm always learning, but I'm very sympathetic to what the guy wrote.  Quite a bit, really.  And it ties in, too, with the last entry, I think.  

Love your take on it, with one caveat:  Don't merely tell me what you thought BEFORE reading the piece. Like, "Oh, the 'Alcohol Issue' -- well, here's my position paper on that..."  Please read the actual article, if you're interested.

We're Not as Strong as We Think We Are

Here's the link on temptation we talked about today. 

I think A.A. is on to something.

So They're Married for 20 Years, and Then He Says...

..."I don't love you anymore."

And so she says...

(and here's the link)

Thanks to my friend Mike for forwarding this along.  There's something wise here.

Internet Addiction Test

Here's the "internet addiction" link we were talking about this morning.  Chances are, if you've sunk to the level of spending time on morningswithbrant.com -- you've got a serious, serious problem.

There's probably an "iPhone addiction" test out there somewhere, but I don't really want to take it.

Don't Even Try This Awesome Game

...I've already set the all-time record, and any attempt you make will only lead to frustration, anger, and, eventually, violence.

But here's the awesome paper-airplane game that I played and set a record of 39 METERS, or feet, or whatever it is on this.

Let me know your score...chump.

These People are on Station Probation. For Shame.

I issued my very first edict:  You can't make fun of me.

I did this for two reasons:  1) The President of Pakistan issued one just like it, and 2) I like edicts.

But these people violated the edict, and they are on Station Probation.  I don't TOTALLY know what comes along with Station Probation, but that's not the point.  The point is the shame and disgrace that you will lavish on these people:

1)  "Anonymous" who texted and made that light bulb joke
2)  Another "anonymous"
3)  Pablo DaTechGuy
4)  John
5)  Elena
6)  Kyleigh
7)  That other "anonymous" who said that one thing about me being a dork
8)  Laura
9)  Executive Producer Nikki
10)  Matthew, who's on Triple Station Probation for that other stuff he did

11)  Eddie, who just said the Dewey Decimal system isn't cool.

12)  Jalisa, who just texted about that one thing

13)  Sasha, who just said my car is a "chick car"

14)  Sara, who just "dissed" (as the kidz say) my shirt

15)  David Larsen, who signed his email with "Anonymous", but whose email address said "David Larsen"

16) Tyler, for sticking out his tongue at me with one of those "emoticons" on Facebook

17)  Jim

18)  Dr. Mike Taylor, British paleontologist and guy who can't spell stuff

19)  Some commenter named, "Geekadoo".  "Geekadoo" is on Station Probation.

Awesome Garage Doors are Here for You

Sometimes, when I'm walking the streets, checking in with all my peeps, and they're like, "yo, what up..." and stuff, they then say, "Hey 'Brantster', do you have any examples of awesome garage doors?"

And I'm all like, "Yeah.  Right here, if you guys want to click right here then you'll see some."

We're all cool like that.

This Lady's Laugh Sounds Like a Car Horn

Yep, it does.  For reals.  

Just seemed like something to post.  Admit it, you're going to click here.