This is the Actual Picture of My Actual Brain that You Requested

This is, for real, a picture of my brain.  I had an MRI done on it last week.  I made a map out of it.

Just click on the pic to blow it up.  Breathtaking.

It's a cross section of my left hemisphere.  The right hemisphere is less interesting, as it's entirely devoted to facial hair cultivation.

It's kind of cool, seeing pictures from the very inside of my very head.  I have a giant head -- like a size 8 -- and I'm pleased to see that my brains are packed in there, right up to my head's edges.  This explains my genius, and why I'm now commanding a salary in the area of five figures per year.