I Bid You Come and Get Owned by My Monkey

It's not every day I get to personally beat you at something. 

In bygone days, travel money and logistics would be involved.  I'd have to physically come to your home in order to garner the inevitable total victory over you, your family, and all that you hold dear.

But these are heady days, thanks to technology.  Just click on this link, and get outkicked by my monkey.

That's right.  My monkey will own you.

Such is your destiny, now writ:  You will be owned, and - oh yes! -- you will be owned by an animated monkey.

It's not a glamorous destiny, but at least has the charm of being yours.