Brant's Blog of Awesomeness

IT'S TRUE!!!! HERE'S YOUR FREE STAPLER!!!

YES!  Swingline says you just take this survey-thing, and they will give you a FREE STAPLER.

That's right, I used the words, "FREE STAPLER".

Here's the link!  WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Don't Blame Your Rabbit Nightmares on Me if You Click This

Here's "Amy", the world's biggest, and freakiest, rabbit.  She's 60+ pounds.

"Amy" is real sweet, her owners say.

And that's good, because if "Amy" goes brzonkers, we're all history.

The Real "Cost of a Child"

We read this on the show this morning, with this preface:  If you think this is cornball/hokey -- you don't have a kid.  Just wait, man.

The new figure is $207,060 to raise a child in America.  But the basis behind this essay (I don't know who wrote it, and I've seen different versions) remains accurate.

The Cost of a Child

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But$160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek, and
* catch lightning bugs

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.

You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . .one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Win Switchfoot Tix through Our Facebook Page! Here's the Link!

Just click here for our Facebook page.

Sign up to become a "fan" -- which should really say, "friend" -- and we'll draw on Friday morning at 7 a.m.

Not only Switchfoot tickets, but meet-and-greet passes, too!  You'll get to meet Switchfoot, tell them they're your biggest fans, etc.

Awesome YouTube

Here's the vid we talked about this morning, the one that one the YouTube award for "Best Eyewitness Video." 

It's crazy-cool.  I think it also should have won for "Most Awesome Video Featuring Super-Cool Baby Water Buffalo Being Attacked by Everybody".  I'm not sure who won that.

Mother Teresa Thing from This Morning

Had some requests for this in print:

Be the living expression of God's kindness

Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your greeting

In the slums we are the light of God's kindness to the poor, to children, to all who suffer and are lonely

Give always a happy smile

Give them not only your care, but also your heart

-- Mother Teresa 1910-1997

It's Switchfoot, Plus Explosions and the Crowd and Stuff

Here's the latest "Switchfoot" commercial.  (Remember to get your tickets this week to save $$$)

My theory was that a person could do the typical concert commercial with only his mouth, making explosion noises and crowd noises and such.  See if you think this sounds typical:

Download switchfoot.mp3 (627.0K)

Revenge of the Nerd (Mwah-ha-ha!) Test

Okay, here's another challenge, Me vs. You:

It's an AWESOME VOCABULARY TEST! 

It tests your vocab level.  My high score so far:  Level 47! 

Let us know your high score in the comments!  Don't lie, or we will come and personally punish you.

Good luck!  And in the spirit of good sportsmanship, may the best man win!

...chump.

Here's the Ultimate Hearing Test

Okay, try THIS at the office.  Or home.  (The link is to some free "mosquito tones" downloads, scalable by age.)

I turned up my computer speakers and hit "play" on the different tones, and drove people crazy, up and down the hall!  It made them laugh!  Now I'm popular!  Finally!

Remember:  These can be used for good or evil.  The choice is yours.  Currently, some apartment buildings crank up the tones to discourage ne'er-do-well youths ("utes") from hanging out.  And, obviously, some people use them as ringtones that old folks won't hear.

I encourage you to use them to fight crime.  Thank you.

The Morning Show's Song for Megan

I'm late in posting this, but some folks asked, so here it is:  We wrote a song for Megan on Valentine's Day, inspired by her husband's love for her.

Lee told us about how they met, what a nerd he was, and how what a great mom she is to their two daughters.

(I was waaaaay nervous about doing the song, and this was all done live, so please lower your artistic standards...)

Download megans_song.mp3 (5760.0K)